Illustrations from Al fine. Idk, they have probably been shared 715 times already, I haven’t been keeping track, but look at all these kawaiis.
(via from-a-distant-end)
Illustrations from Al fine. Idk, they have probably been shared 715 times already, I haven’t been keeping track, but look at all these kawaiis.
(via from-a-distant-end)
hearing my dad read teen wolf episode synopses out to my mom is the funniest thing
when climaxing, announce your orgasm in the batman voice
WHERE IS IT
WHERE IS THE CLITORIS
YOU WOULDN’T GIVE IT TO AN ORDINARY CITIZEN
Lil’ Wayne and Drake
yup.
decides to go back in my blog and finds this…. why did i…. why
IT’S BACK! IT’S FUCKING BACK
(I don’t take credit for the book cover, it’s avengechester’s and inspired this piece)“Oh cherry, baby.” Dean murmured as he hid his ghost of a smile in between its sex. The pie was emotionless in response and eagerly awaited his next move. Dean lifted the fork sensually and bit his lip as he dipped the shiny metal prongs into Cherry’s delicious filling. “Oh yes, yes…” Dean groaned, his insides quaking with lust.
The pie was warm inside it’s metal tin and it covered Dean’s fork with it’s gooey insides, welcoming anything that was going to be inside his mouth. He murmured as he scooped some of the coagulated cherry onto the divot of his fork before lifting it to his mouth. As soon as his lips opened to welcome the artificial cherry paste, Dean could feel the cherry trees it grew from, taste the family owned farm, smell the sticky children on field trips, he could practically see the one bucktoothed child that was picked on during the bus ride to the cherry farm.
Dean’s blood rushed downward as he pulled the fork out of his mouth, letting the metal prongs heat his lips on the way past as flavor burst across his tongue. His toes curled against the sandstone floor as he began to speak with his mouth open, “Carry on my wayward boner…fuuuuck.”
The groan echoed through the large kitchen that Dean had aptly dubbed his ‘play room’.
Only special pies were brought here, and tonight it was Cherry’s turn to experience the magic.
Usually it was Apple who basked under his warm gaze and prying fork, but tonight he needed variety, he needed to break away from the safety of his special apple pie. Dean groaned again and shoved his grey metal chair back, letting it scrape on the expensive grey sandstone floors. “Holy hell..” He murmured as he stood and unzipped his jeans and his love rod sprung loose of his dark grey denims.
His hard length nestled itself against his taut abdomen and craved sensation. Dean grabbed the delicious cherry pie and slid it closer to the edge of the metal table. His breathing quickened in anticipation and his pocket weasel leaked happily against his oh-so-happy trail.
Dean’s fingers delicately held the metal pie tin with one hand and he gripped his pork steeple as it jumped in excitement. Angling it down, his man sausage slid into the pie’s sticky filling with one quick thrust of his hips.
The gelatinous filling in combination with the cherries floating in the mixture cradled his joystick in such an intense feeling of pleasure that he cried out, “HOLY HELL!” again into the kitchen. It echoed back at him off the sandstone and tickled his ears. A low groan escaped his throat as his hips twitched again and his gear shifter pumped through the thick cherry filling.
Apple pie could never pleasure him like Cherry could. Cherry cradled his thick meat wrench with such unabashed loving that made him pulsate with need. Dean pumped thrice more, murmuring his love to the pie as he broke the crust off the top and splashed red filling everywhere.
“Oh..fuck. Shit, oh god.” He groaned into the broken silence of the room, joining the only noises of his heavy breathing and the loud squish-squish of the debauched pie.
Filling started to splash into the hair above Dean’s quiver bone and the noises became too much for him to bear. Thrusting hard so the tip of his dude piston bumped the bottom of the pie tin, he groaned lowly and let out an animalistic shout as he finished into the pie.
After he was finished, Dean had succeeded in turning a perfectly presentable Cherry pie into a mess of a banana cream pie.
(Source: captserious, via chaoticwaltz)
Title: Pull me up
Fandom: DC Universe
Pairing: Bruce/Tim
Rating: R
Word count: 1,230+ words
Summary: There are rarely ties anymore. Tim thinks they’re still approaching one. If not anything else, he sure feels as knotted up as a tie with Windsor up its neck. Only; there are fingers. And they’re not up his neck, not exactly.
Note: Because some days are just BruTim days.Then they turn to weeks and then to this.
I DON’T EVEN LIKE THIS PAIRING BUT OH MY GOD
I love how everything in this felt so rushed and desperate, from the touches to Tim’s thoughts, to fit the race metaphor so wonderfully. and the part about strips of contact, so great.
just going to obnoxiously reblog everything you write, don’t mind me
Title: One of those days
Fandom: DC Universe
Pairing: Dick/Tim
Rating:PG
Word count:850+ words
Summary: The quick jab of Tim’s elbow against Dick’s chest doesn’t hurt, is half-hearted at best. Dick still pretends to hide his smile under a wince, pretends to not peek over the angle of Tim’s wrist.
Notes: Inspired by this picture by kaciart.
I’m not even sure I like this fic anymore.;__;
WHY WOULD YOU NOT LIKE THIS ANYMORE
wow I actually can’t get over how you can possibly put all these words together to make something this beautiful. I just. I can’t. I want to be that loser who copies and pastes every line of a fic to praise it because each line in this completely deserves it. everything is so poetic and heavy with romantic tension and it’s so lovely.
“Not to kiss anything that belongs to the other, be it skin or clothes or the air that’s soaked with their life.” I can’t handle this line.
this is so beautiful while still remaining endearingly funny because dick and timmy you are so dense stop playing hard to get.
LITERALLY SCREAMING
me too
THERE ARE TEARS. RUNNING DOWN MY FACE. HEY GUYS FAIR WARNING, DON’T DRINK ORANGE JUICE WHILE WATCHING THIS VIDEO UNLESS YOU’RE OKAY WITH CLEANING SALIVA AND LIQUID FRUIT OFF OF YOUR COMPUTER MONITOR.
im crying
My face hurts
oh my GODFOgif
my stomach hurts
ow
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
*heave heave*REBLOGGING AGAIN BECAUSE JFC
(via amberspirit)
| Louis CK: | If you raise a girl with some confidence and you send her out in the world so she feels like she can do whatever she wants, she's still going to get her face and her ass fucked but she's going to do it on her terms. |
| Louis CK: | She's going to grab that dick by the base and go, "I want to suck this right now". |
| Louis CK: | This should be your goal as a father: That your daughter only sucks a dick that she thinks is delicious. |
Geneseo. Where students, you know, spontaneously burst into song in the middle of the dining hall.
View high resolution
…. This man is such an ass. Who the fuck advertises that people don’t like your comic? Why would you do that?
…Wait is this for real?
If it is, I’m side-eyeing the hell out of this guy more so then usual.
Mr. Lodbell if anyone has told you RHATO was awesome they were lying. They were bullshitting their way to creating the parting of the Red Sea.
oh Mr.Lodbell…
(Source: spycrabs, via chaoticwaltz)
(Source: neptunepirate, via chadefallstar)